Wagon Wheel

I found this gem of a live performance of one of the best Americana bands around. This is one of those songs that I could play over and over and never get tired of it. Enjoy!

New Paintings from the SoulShiner

I've kept busy during my off weeks in August. Despite my inventory unexpectedly not getting depleted I have the need to slap paint on a canvas. And as I said in the previous post I just can't seem to tap into Mick Jagger's need to "paint it black."

Yes, there are two pieces that are a bit more serious because I included some interesting quotes for a change but the passion for color obviously overwhelms me. But it kind of pisses me off that when troubles are mounting I continue to produce really decent work. I also find it strange how much I fancy Vincent Van Gogh's work and embrace the dark side his many "isolation" works. Most everyone unfamiliar with his background view his darkest themes as cheerful! Perhaps I should do a self-portrait sans an ear to reach a more serious side of me? Maybe that's the surface I've been scratching for 25 years now.

These are just few of the things I've completed and I'm working on another half dozen paintings...

"Good Day, Sunshine!"
I think this is like 18" x 24"? I could be wrong because I keep working on this guy.

"Perry the Pelican, Jr."
24" x 36" commission (right side)

"Petie & Penny the Pelicans"
24" x 36" commission (left side)

"Peace"
24" x 30" canvas

"Peace Too"
24" x 30" canvas

"Flamingo Flirts"
24" x 36" canvas

"Flip Flops"
16" x 20" canvas panel

Hello, It's Me

Think of me
You know that I'd be with you if I could
I'll come around to see you once in a while
Or if I ever need a reason to smile
And spend the night if you think I should

I've probably been a fan of Todd Rundgren longer than Liv Tyler has known that the singer from Aerosmith is actually her father and not The Hermit of Mink Hollow. At various times I've turned to his music as a source of inspiration, reflection, and renewal. The year of my first divorce I probably listened to his album Healing almost every waking moment, nearly wearing the vinyl out. It seems this is another one of those times.

Our regular readers have probably noticed that blog posts have been fewer and further between over the summer. It honestly wasn't intentional. In fact I wanted to include some entries from "the road" - perhaps even from the art shows. But an odd thing occurred along the way (and those that really, really know me would agree) - I found out I had nothing to say.

And for whatever the reason (and undoubtedly there are several) the melancholy...the blues...the sadness of the reality of our lives at the moment have peaked in such a way that it has become quite profound at least for me personally. The sudden lack of success at shows mid-summer; the juggling of whatever money we have available to us at the end of every month; the worry about how we will make ends meet come November through March; even having to pack up in the rain the previous 3 shows; all of it feels like anchors pulling me under stormy waves in a sea of despair.

It hasn't helped within the past week Jessie has started school (I'm not one of those parents - I honestly hate not having my princess around) and that Ben nearly pulled another episode like last Thanksgiving. I didn't decide to leave for the latest show in Banner Elk, NC until about 3 hours before I was due to arrive. Suffice it to say I didn't want to be there - my heart was here with my son and perhaps that was one of the reasons I had my first unsuccessful show there. Add in the ongoing nursing carousel our mismanaged provider has been operating lately and you have all the ingredients of a psychiatric meltdown...which is what seems to be happening to me over the past few days.

So in the words of another wonderful Rundgren song, can we still be friends? I need you dear Blogosphere. Our entire family needs you. And I apologize for keeping you in the dark about our life while I've brooded the last half of the summer away.

Over the next few days you will see some of the things I've been working on. I still find it ironic that even when things are darkest my paintings get even brighter and more colorful. And there some questions we will be asking in the coming weeks even a favor we'd like a church or non-profit to consider. Also look for the two Ben's to get back to work painting. We need that from each other.

So dear readers...

Hello, it's me
I've thought about us for a long, long time
Maybe I think too much but something's wrong
There's something here that doesn't last too long
Maybe I shouldn't think of you as mine

UnblockThe Bloggess!

This afternoon I was made aware of an intense battle between Good & Evil. You might be thinking Jedi vs. Darth Vadar...or USA vs. Russia...or the Red Sox vs. the Yankees...or anybody not a Republican vs. Republicans. Well this is entirely more important to mankind with the possible cure for cancer on the line! This battle is between The Bloggess and William Shatner. I shat you not!

Please visit Mayo Pie's blog to join our "army" and to get the latest details about the war. I promise that it'll be quite entertaining even if you're just an innocent bystander. And if you do join us the cause by telling a “truth” about William Shatner on Twitter using the hashtag #unblockthebloggess and/or email Stephen Colbert (colbertweb@gmail.com) with a message to UNBLOCK THE BLOGGESS! This is ultimately our mission: to get The Colbert Report to acknowledge one of the funniest bloggers on the planet!

Message sent via code - deciphered and delivered by Bennie (codename: Ricky Bobby)

We Interrupt Our Blog...

...to make you aware of the situation in which one of our writers at Hopeful Parents has found herself. Jess blogs at Conner's Song where she discusses their life raising her son who has a rare genetic disorder (sound familiar?). And now her husband who is fighting for our country has been severely injured.

Please friends and followers go visit her when you can. Her husband is receiving treatment in Germany. It will probably be weeks if not months before they are reunited because of the care Conner needs. Prayers, hugs, and positive thoughts are quick, simple, and easy but they sure have meant a lot to us when we've dealt with our won crisis.

Recommended: Lance Snacks!

Once again you'll find us not too far away today. The kind folks at BlogHer and Lance sent us a little care package recently. We're all excited about some of their new snack products and we'd like you to check them. So hurry over to our review blog and see how we hide Lance Sandwich Crackers all over our house!

Be back here tomorrow!

And on the Seventh Day...

As always on the 7th of each month you can find us here. I really want our regular readers to visit Hopeful Parents as often as possible. In fact become a member of our community! The fact that you are visiting us you must have a passing interest in issues facing families of exceptional children. I promise it won't hurt and it won't cost you anything...except maybe a tear every now and then.

Just as an introduction to this month's entry, I've been privileged to work behind the scene with Christina Shaver (the founder of Hopeful Parents) and Rebekah Sprecher in getting our Facebook and Twitter accounts up and running. They are the heart and brains behind our social media sites - I'm just the cheerleader.

If you haven't done so follow us on Twitter and become a fan of Hopeful Parents on Facebook. It will help us make a difference.

Recommended: It Ain't Easy Being Me

Today I was reminded of a song written and performed by Chris Knight. If there is some kind of soundtrack to my life then this would be the title track. All songwriters (and I still imagine myself as one), poets, writers, novelists, etc. will tell you there is at piece they'd wished they'd penned because it cleverly says something so incredibly well about themselves.

Up until the time I struck out into the world as a full-time acrylic painter I was a part of a local acoustic trio with friends Mike Merck and Andrea Christopher-Snipes. Playing about four years of two gigs a month together led to a pretty nice collection of songs we could perform. Even then it eventually would become somewhat of a drag to sing the old songs night after night...accept this one. For some reason "It Ain't Easy Being Me" struck a common thread between us as I am certain it will for many of you.

By the way, I never saw the video until long after Deep Fried south went on permanent hiatus. The filming at a demolition derby? Perfect!

Inspiration for this post came about through the discovery of a friend's songwriting talent! Be sure to check out Jennifer Harvey's blog as well.

I Am

This is a two-part entry just to introduce our many new readers to the "two Bens." In a nutshell, this is a summary of the past few years of blogging. Tomorrow we will feature my hero and son, Ben. Perhaps somewhere down the road a Jessie & Joan introduction might be in order.

I am a father, husband, son, brother, and friend. I am someone who cares and will trust, love, and believe in someone else to a fault because I want to believe in the best of others. I am fooled very easily by some people because of this trait. I am certain that I inherited this trait from my father.

I am an artist influenced by anything and everything around me. Specifically I am mostly an acrylic painter who might just pick up whatever is nearby and apply it to my painting. I am a talker which makes my job incredibly fun at shows and festivals because I enjoy meeting new people, particularly those who enjoy my work.

I am an advocate for families of special needs children and will bend over backwards to help those that need it. Because of Ben I am not afraid to embrace an exceptional child (or adult) who just might drool on me because I know they will give me more love than I could return. I am not afraid to introduce myself to someone pushing a wheelchair in public and ask about that loved one because I know that family has gone through the same hell as us.

I am a Christian but still question the Bible as the inherent "word of God." I am certain there was a Jesus Christ but I am also certain he would be very disappointed by modern organized religion. I am an Episcopalian but haven't stepped foot in a church in about five years. Although I regret that I am working most Sundays these days. I am busy spending "off weekends" with my family and I am certain God is okay with that.

I am an independent voter and distrust anyone who is affiliated with any party. I am disgusted at folks who wear blinders and won't listen to the other side (particularly if they are not respectful of another opinion). With that said I am more hopeful of the next eight years than I was of the last eight.

I am a married heterosexual man who has several gay friends who deserve the right to marry their chosen spouse. I am sometimes in awe of their love and truly respect their commitment. I am disgusted that they are discriminated against just like exceptional families.

And I am honest about the dirty parts. I am a survivor of sexual abuse as a child. I am a survivor of panic/anxiety disorder due to the previous statement and I am trying to be just like my dad - a good father, husband, and son (and who died unexpectedly in 1993 with the weight of the world on his shoulders). I am a "wine-oh" who probably drinks too much of the grape to cope with life. I am going to admit that mostly I don't like myself but I want to wake up to better days because I know I can do better for the most part.

There. Three years in a post. It's me and I'm thankful for those that deal with it everyday. By the way, I SO want to tag some folks but the parameters are really intrusive. If you want to do the same then at least link me.