Very Scary!

Here's a "brief" contest. No reward, no special gifts this time. Just a father lamenting the fact that his daughter (and son) are growing up. So which pair of shorts belong to Jessie? I'm thinking I we need to further investigate young ladies clothes for warm weather...

True Inspiration

To find someone who embodies that particular phrase I have to look no further than across the room at my son Ben. He will turn 10 of age in a few short months and that is 10 years longer than he should have lived.

Ben was born with a rare genetic disorder called Pallister Killian Syndrome (PKS) leaving him with many challenges that he continues to overcome. He has endured numerous painful surgeries, strenuous physical and occupational therapies, and has even faced death on occasion. Seizures can be daily occurrences which interrupt signals from his brain that tell his lungs to breath or his heart to beat. Yet with all he has endured in 9+ years of life Ben is hardly ever seen without a smile; one so infectious that it is difficult not to return one to him.

As a father I had looked forward to many things once I knew my second child was a boy. Baseball was at the top of the list since it holds so much meaning and symbolism in my own personal experience. Ben even has his own “Field of Dreams” painted on his initial bedroom wall so he could look up before bedtime and gaze at my childhood heroes.

With the knowledge of his condition, after Ben’s birth the temptation was to embrace discouragement and disappointment. Knowing that the probability of me and Ben having a long toss together was not likely is still sometimes difficult to accept. Yet Ben has provided me and anyone else who has come to know him something a typical little boy can rarely achieve: inspiration to live life to its fullest!

My boyhood “heroes” were filled with names like Aaron, Bench, Yazstremski, Mays, and Clemente. My adult list of heroes has but one: Ben Waddell. This child has taught me more in his short life about courage, honesty, bravery, and selflessness than anyone else in my own 46 years. These days I cannot even imagine a life without an exceptional child living among our family and if you asked Ben’s mother and sister, they too would tell you that we wouldn’t trade our experience with Ben for anything else.

Truly inspiration is found by observing how well an individual meets and accepts adversity in life. Ben has not only conquered each and every one he has faced, he has actually flourished because of them! I thank God every day that I have Ben in my life.

Our hometown minor league baseball team is having an essay contest on "Inspiration." This is what I submitted as our entry. The Greenville Drive is the Single A affiliate of the Boston Red Sox. Wish us luck!

A Hero and Now a Hall-of-Famer

Sorry I've been away for awhile. There is much to write about as August and the "dog days of summer" approaches. Ben has been very healthy which has helped him accomplish some really cool things cognitively and physically! Jessie is fretting over the fact that she has about three weeks left of her summer vacation. Joan? She's still working way too many hours and needing another vacation.

But today I pause to honor the newest inductee to Major League Baseball's Hall of Fame. Jim Rice was a favorite of me and my brother Cameron. We were baseball nuts playing ballgames with our friends from sun up to sundown, watching MLB games whenever they were broadcast, and collecting baseball cards. Obviously a Jim Rice card was treasured find especially knowing that he grew up about thirty miles from us.

Rice is a throw back to a time when the sport was purer and the players we held with such esteem could be trusted to generally be good guys on and off the field. In his retirement Rice has continued to quietly do positive things in our community particularly with children. This little known story exemplifies what kind of man he is.

Congratulations Jim! this is indeed a well-deserved honor.

Bubbles

Achieving childhood goals for Jessie was a piece of cake. Untypically she was very fast in reaching them too: crawling around 6 months, walking at one year, reading before she reached kindergarten, and so on. Even her school teachers through the years have been impressed with how well and quickly she catches on to topics and ideas. It doesn't mean she's any smarter than her peers or we have some budding Einstein on our hands (spending an evening studying for a science or math test would nip that idea in the bud) but most likely has to do with her extreme determination and will to succeed.

Ben obviously has that same gene hidden amongst the non-typical ones in his body. The sheer fact that he's even alive is proof of that. Those who spend the most time around him see it and see it as vividly as one of the colors jumping off a painting of mine. There's a huge difference though between our children in the way we perceive their achieved goals. We can tell you where we were, what we were doing, who we were with, and the exact age Jessie reached one them. With Ben it's almost like being in a laboratory at times - observing the specimen, charting whether the goal has been repeated, making sure the conditions are similar, and even recognizing if he acknowledges his accomplishment.

Many times we've missed that "first" opportunity to actually see him growing into the big boy he is becoming but this summer we've been able to catch a few of them. Today he blew bubbles.

Barbara, his speech therapist has been working with him since spring to shape his mouth just so, to put just enough pressure through his lips, and place his tongue in the right position with the end result of having soapy water become floating bubbles via a hole at the end of a plastic wand. Because I was on the phone today at that time I was able to see it twice. Nurse Stacey saw it three more times. You'd have thought he'd gotten straight "A"s on his most recent report card had you seen our faces in the van coming home.

So Ben can't hit a baseball or catch a football...yet. But we have bubbles!

Anthem of Love

I need to thank my PKS sister, Gretchen Peters, for sharing a link with Facebook this morning. Before you go and visit this blogger understand that it is a homily written for tomorrow's service at an Anglican church. And before you decide to not visit let me challenge each of my readers to cast aside their own spiritual beliefs (or non-beliefs) for the moment. The message written by this Catholic deacon is a brilliant piece about how those of us living with exceptional loved ones should feel. The very sad fact is that many of us experience the opposite: isolation, loneliness, and abandonment and not just that occasional case of the blues. We know way too many families who find themselves emotionally and physically (completely) defeated by special needs living.

The author's revelation is simple: none of us were ever meant to walk this journey alone knowing how difficult our paths will be. This is particularly true for those of us parenting a special needs child or those who have a disability of their own. As he points out Love "does not exist in a vacuum."

Now go and visit the deacon's blog and be sure to watch the video. This is a story of triumph - story that bears repeating over and over again. You never know when one simple gesture (in this case 36,000 simple gestures) will change someone's life.

Capri Sun Sunrise Winner Announcement!

I apologize for the weird sound delay once again. Me and Ben wanted to make this huge announcement via our HP Media gear but evidently I am still inept at this computer recording & uploading stuff. If anyone has suggestions then please let us know! We record then upload to YouTube and then this momentary delay occurs. Any ideas will be appreciated!

In the mean time, those at the BlogHer Conference 2009 will definitely miss out on the guys who could be the best entertainment available! Although my man Ben is a huge flirt, he's a gentleman at heart. Just between you and me he's definitely the best dancer. Also he's the only one I know who can actually get away with one of those "banana hammocks." Me? I prefer something a bit more modest...like clown pants?

The King of...Pain?

Once again I interrupt my task of filling in the missing details of our happenings within the month of June. In fact I am embarrassed to actually admit that I’m going to actually blog about Michael Jackson’s untimely death. DON’T RUN AWAY JUST YET! If you’re like me then you are fed up with all of the media coverage surrounding the event which is bound to continue filling the airwaves for several more weeks but in all honesty I have some pretty serious thoughts and one big revelation. Thank God CNN didn’t exist when Elvis died.

Jackson’s death occurred the day I left for my ten-day trip to the coasts of South & North Carolina. Joan was actually texting me the news while I was loading in for the Harbor Fest. It was a strange experience delivering the news to vendors I barely knew that a pop icon we’d grown up with had suddenly and unexpectedly died. A sad thing but life goes on for the living who aren’t a part of the elite of society and who happen to be unloading a bunch of gear in stifling heat.

Almost two weeks have passed now and I’ve definitely developed some opinions about this news. For those that follow me on Facebook or Twitter you will probably be a little surprised. I have an incredible disdain for the media coverage Jackson’s death has provoked. While “The King of Pop” was a talented vocalist, dancer, and performer the truth is that he was at best a good musician and a decent songwriter. He donated a bunch of money to charity but he was no Desmond Tutu.

Because of MJ’s death, the focus upon our economic woes is nil. North Korea’s nukes are still an incredible worry. And we still have young people dying in Iraq, for God’s sake…yet many only shed a tear for “Whacko Jacko” dying from a self-induced drug overdose. Several times over the past week or so my head wanted to explode!

Yet, here is the sympathetic part: I sincerely feel sorry for the Jackson family. Why? This is the part of my life that I knew I would one day reveal – I was just waiting for the right moment. I’ve exchanged e-mails with my dear friend Maggie, trying to figure out when to expose this secret of my life.

Long story short Maggie has started this really wonderful site for female victims of physical & mental abuse called Violence Unsilenced. What she has done, along with other brave women, is nothing short of remarkable. In an e-mail I once told her that I would open up about my own past. Now is that time because I consider this another opportunity to come closer to my own healing. Many years ago I was sexually abused by a so-called “family friend.”

This was a secret I kept to myself for almost two decades; a long period of time to keep something like that to oneself. To be honest I never knew how much it affected my life until I finally sought counseling for some other personal issues – issues I naively thought were unrelated. For that, seeking counsel, I am extremely thankful. Had I not sought help back in 1992 I am certain my life would’ve continued to spiral out of control.

Flash forward to 2009. Whatever you think of Michael Jackson I encourage you to listen to the words of his daughter. Honestly my instinct has been to continue label him as a sexual predator. To be honest I have no idea if he was or wasn’t. We all know the stories, innuendos, and even the information admitted to on national TV. We’ve seen the awkward and strange behavior that made tabloids. No doubt that Michael was an extremely odd person. Yet his daughter Paris pleads to the world to believe the guy was a great father. I have no reason to not believe her either. No one forced that child to say anything yesterday. In fact I think really good child “actors” are few and far between. Most of us can easily sense when youngsters are stretching the truth – if she was then she was very, very good!

It is common knowledge now that Jackson’s dad physically and emotionally abused his kids. For that the world has the defunct Jackson 5, a famous wardrobe malfunction, and the recent death of The King of Pop. Joe Jackson is most likely a very rich man – wealthy with lots of greenbacks, property, and material things. In my honest opinion he also now has the blood of his second youngest son upon his hands. Yes, it was Michael’s responsibility to better himself as a man, a father, and human being in the eyes of the public but none of us will know the demons he might have lived with.

I’m hoping that MJ is finally at peace. I’m hoping he chose the path of forgiveness, particularly given that his father was the abuser. I’m also hoping that Joe Jackson will one day look into Paris’s (and the rest of her uncles) eyes and say, “I’m sorry.” That would go a long way toward that path of forgiveness.

Takin' Care of Business

While I'm working on a longer blog entry to wrap up what were up to during the month of June, I wanted to let you know of two quick notes of interest for our readers, one that is unfinished business and the other letting you know where you can find find us on the 7th of every month (sometimes even more often than that particular date).

Tomorrow is the LAST day to submit an entry for our Capri Sun contest. One lucky reader will win a $250 Visa gift card! On Thursday I will randomly select the grand prize winner and a couple of other runner ups to receive artwork from me and Ben! You will need to visit our review blog to find out how to enter three different ways.

After you submit your entry check out our monthly blog post over at Hopeful Parents. Yeah, I know some of you will recognize it but after discussing things with Joan, we thought it an interesting enough tale worth repeating.