The Wonder Years

Even though Nurse Tracy has already spent the last six months or so working with Ben she's still learning and hearing about our son's first ten years with us. It's quite interesting to tell a person who spends so much time with your kid just how dramatic things have been at times. It's also kind of depressing when you recall decisions that were made that in the long run weren't very beneficial for him. Thankfully most of the time Ben's "team" has made the right choice.

Being the parent of someone like Ben is obviously difficult. Unlike typical family situations there are no parenting books, no medical growth charts, no checklists, no college courses, no school tests (actually those do exist and are an absolute waste of time, money, and paperwork), no absolutes to help you build a road map for the course of your offspring's life. Instead we generally shoot from the hip hoping to be quicker on the draw than our "enemy" whether it be an illness, an under-funded state program, or some bureaucratic asshole whose impeding the health and well-being of your child. In the mean time you hope and pray you don't miss and hit an innocent bystander or even worse: yourself, your son or daughter, or another family member.

Because I've neglected the blog for about the same length of time that Tracy has been with us most of you are unaware of just how well Ben is doing. Now that he is not in school Tracy has been letting Ben paint nearly every day. In discussions with his physical and occupational therapists the effort has definitely paid off! Tuesday is always therapy day. It's not just penciled in but written in Sharpie pen ink on each Tuesday until he returns to school. That is how much we value the work that he does with all of those wonderful individuals that have worked with our son through the years.

Ben is now able to work (very slowly) with a communication device, pointing to "yes and no answers" for the most part. This is mainly due to his artistic interest and the wonderful gift of another blogger, Casey of Moosh in Indy fame (Casey, I really really really want you to know what a wonderful thing you did for Ben - that Touch Screen has been a HUGE educational tool for him...HUGE!!!!). In fact his speech therapist was absolutely amazed this week to discover that Ben actually has a vocabulary that consists of the word "conversation." It is another long story to relate but very typical of the who, what, and why of living with Ben.

Getting back to those early years that I've been telling Tracy about, we certainly are enjoying the boy we have now versus the boy we had then. It's not that we ever loved him any less it's just that he can finally tell us how much he loves us.

A Father's Reflection

I've had a good bit of time this week - probably way too much - to think about being father. We celebrated Fathers Day this past Sunday and I really wanted to blog about some of the good thoughts I had a few days ago; one of the few times I've been home on that particular date in recent years.

And even though as a family we've recently hit another rough patch in the Road of Life, I cannot take my mind off of a dear friend of ours who came by last Saturday to help me with an electrical problem. David tragically lost his eldest child last year.

When you are a young (younger in our case) married couple the idea of having children is somewhat an after thought. Obviously that is a goal for most couples but in this day and age other achievements like career, paying off college debt, saving money or home-buying take precedence. For most of us it isn't until we are staring at a tiny heartbeat on an ultrasound screen that the gravity of parenting becomes real. For someone who admittedly has never really "grown up" the thought of making certain another human being is fed, bathed , clothed, diapered, healthy, happy, and whole is still difficult to wrap my little brain around.

For those of us who have the privilege to go the extra distance of ensuring that human's little heart continues to beat and lungs take the next breath that particular weight sometimes becomes so great that it is difficult to believe you're not actually wearing concrete flippers in the the deep end of the pool.

And even though exceptional parenting continues to send wave after wave of crushing disappointments and hardships I wouldn't trade it for the world. I can honestly say that fathering Ben and Jessie Waddell have been the two greatest, most rewarding accomplishments I will ever achieve.

The Truth?

In so many ways this has been a great day. I'll admit that I am a soccer (futbol...futball...whatever) nut. The instinct this afternoon was to write about the incredible USA win over Algeria. It was fun to have Jessie, Ben, and his South African nurse watch an epic end to the Group Stage of this year's World Cup. Yes indeed...I jumped upon our sofa...buried my face to hide tears of joy...and quickly ran Jessie to a dental appointment ten minutes after the match had ended.

All of my excitement about sports including the record breaking Wimbledon tennis match that took place today was washed away. Once again my elected leaders have failed me, my family, and the American public.

Recently I have been asked why I've remained so quiet on my blog. There has been much to tell but I had a temporary job as a 2010 Census Worker that roughly began at the end of April. In training I was instructed, if not threatened, to not reveal what I was doing publicly.

Over the course of a very short three weeks I made some allusions to my job on Facebook without revealing anything that would get me in trouble. Meanwhile I remained silent on our blog. This place is much more important to us than my Facebook page.

In the few short weeks of work that were supposed to be a bit more than promised I was exposed to government waste like none of you would believe. Seriously. You as a taxpayer would be SICK about what, how much, and how easy we could have bilked you. I didn't. But I do know of others who did.

I wanted a job in the next phase. A call a few weeks back told me I would be hired for the next phase by recommendation of my superiors. All was cool until I found out today that the training would be July 1st. WTF??? On an extended July 4th weekend this year, the Census Bureau has its training on July 1st? And the next phase will not start until July 11?

Personally I have given up several good shows in the Spring and Summer because I wanted the Census work. I have been lied to - I have been pressured just reach goals with the promise that I will receive more work. That was a HUGE lie.

I now have no source of income for the rest of the summer because of our elected assholes and their chosen douche bags. This is your government at work. You now have idiots finishing your census info. How does that make you feel? Are you pissed yet? I am.

Roanoke Report

Currently I'm in a not-so-great motel room in Roanoke, Virginia attempting to entertain myself until bedtime. For some reason I have access to this incredibly fast internet service (chalk one up for finding a motel owned by a family from southeast Asia). Is there not a better time to blog? I think not!

Yes, that is my incredibly handsome son, Ben. I had the distinct pleasure of giving him a big goodbye kiss earlier today. If world leaders had to pass through the "official Ben exit" for a few days we'd have global peace within weeks, if not days. Here's one of my few (okay, MANY) confessions here: I cry every...and I mean EVERY...time I leave town for a show once I've told this child I have to leave for awhile. I used to do the same for Jessie used that she's a teenager? I won't continue that thought other than to say "not so much."

In the past week Jessie had her dance recital - (Memorial Day) weekend. Oh. My. God! My daughter is incredible! Honest to God, I've been wanting to blog about her with all kinds of digital photos and stuff but my wife has reminded me that there are really, really stupid creeps out there who should be our first explorers to Mars. She was....AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Talk about some salty stuff under the eyeballs?

For the record Ben is still painting - almost every day of the week. In fact both of his nurses, Tracy and Julie, are awesome ladies in allowing Ben to explore his creative side. Here's the problem: Ben is trying to tell us what he is painting when we cannot understand him. My feeling is that many people reading this shrug their heads and think, "oh, well, I've seen this type of behavior before."

Seriously, I'm not stupid. Okay...I'm not stupid some of the time but those that have worked with Ben KNOW exactly what I'm saying here. Ben is almost always dictating how he wants his paintings constructed. If you were around it you'd agree: at times this really blows my mind. Tracy, Vicki, Lisa, Julie and a host of other nurses know too. It's just so wonderful to be blessed with such creative kids!

Peace out.

New Paintings by Bennie

This is a new color scheme for the cocktail them. I'm also currently working on a commission using these colors for a "Peace, Love, & Flip-Flops" painting.

"My M&Ms!" - I have a version of this on a canvas that I've been unable to sell but I've been asked plenty of times for a print. I now have one available after completing this one on a sheet of 16" x 20" canvas paper.

"Primitive Coast"
16" x 20" acrylic on canvas

I started "Hello Sports Fans!" right after returning from the NFC Championship game in New Orleans back in January. It was fun taking the Mardi Gras mask idea and tying with the passion many have for their favorite team.

"Fleur de Lis" was also inspired by that trip to New Orleans. This is also acrylic on 16" x 20" canvas.