Perspective

Any trained artist will tell you that perspective is a fundamental element of the creative process. Basically (and this is a very basic definition) it is how objects appear from one's eye in relation to distance and location. For instance, if were to do an architectural rendering I would make darn sure that every edge of any linear object (the eaves of roofs, window sills, tops of a door frame) would all intersect at some finite distant point. Being more or less an impressionist painter I "distort" perspective by twisting and turning the objects upon the canvas in such a way to give subjective meaning to the completed artwork.

And it is that fundamental element that sometimes only another artist can identify and speak volumes about to a fellow artisan. This generally occurs when a painter such as myself gets stuck in a rut, runs into a composition problem, or just needs a creative kick in the ass. We seek another trusted comrade who can reinterpret some of those fundamental elements so that we may move forward with our art.

Such was the case when I opened my e-mail this morning. My dear friend, Conni Togel, shared some thoughts with me in regards to A Work of Art. I received permission from her to reprint most of it here because I honestly believe all of us can benefit from her wisdom. so I'll let the teacher speak:

So sorry to hear about Ben’s health problem at the moment – give him an extra hug and then go have Joan give you an extra hug, right after you’ve given her and Jessie an extra hug.

Questioning God is not a bad thing - in fact, I tend to think God is intelligent enough to prefer inquiry to ignorance.

I cannot imagine quite what life is like for you, though your blog really does bring a lot of heartfelt info to the world about living with an exceptional child – btw: Ben seems to be exceptional, exceptional or not.

And THAT is where most likely your “why?” answer will be found: special people get special assignments (and special kids) - your situation is indeed a toughy, but through all of the medical things, and financial things, and the stress caused by the combination of all of the above, there is one thing that shines through and not only touches your heart, but now that you have your blog, also that of many others: Ben and the love his family has for him. If that ain’t a good reason for “why” then I don’t know what is. Because Ben. Enough said...

I’m sure you would have chosen a different life situation for Ben even if you would have had to give your life to make it happen – but how involved in Ben’s life and in your family would you have been if he had been “normal”? See, you might have missed just how exceptional Ben really is if he was just a normal kid next door. Jessie and Ben would have fought like cats and dogs over the remote control of the tv, he might have left his dirty socks stuck in the couch cushions, might have forgotten to put the toilet seat down, might have lived solely off of Cheetos and Mountain Dew, Joan might have turned into a nagging wife (not many women don’t after while of being married to a guy – and yes, any guy :o))) ), and you might have become a 9-5 suit in an office somewhere, ...probably not, from what I’ve been reading about you and your family, but you get the idea...

Instead, Ben came along – and gave “normal” a whole new spin. Not always a fun spin, but spinning around will always give you a chance for different viewpoints of things. And it gives others a chance to see you from different angles as well – not that bad of a thing, really.

So when you start asking God “why me?”, my guess would be: because God shines through Ben, and he wanted it to shine on you. Just enjoy the warmth, and see how the shadows make the colors brighter.

Enough preaching to the choir here – don’t know if this was any kind of help at all, but those were my thoughts about your post yesterday.

I'm looking forward to seeing Conni and her husband Peter on Thursday.


Ben Update: He is doing remarkably well. His doctor agreed with me that the shunt was definitely not the culprit and that Ben evidently was hit by the same stomach bug that has been filling up his office for the past week. He did not see the need for IV fluids and Nurse Jenny did an excellent job of increasing Ben's fluid intake throughout the day. Although the feeding pump is set at a slower rate of feeding than normal, Ben is now receiving his normal mix of nutrition.

He's been playing and laughing this afternoon. In fact we're having a hard time convincing him to rest. No seizures. No dry-heaves. Thanks for the prayers. Obviously they work.