Friday, April 10, 2009

Blue on Black II

Everyone, thanks for the thoughts and suggestions. I have gotten the e-mails but for some reason I cannot respond to them from the Wi-Fi connection I'm using so I will answer each of them when we get home tomorrow (or by Sunday). There are a few things I'd like to add though.

First my in-laws spent most of the day in Charleston yesterday and left this morning. This has relieved a great amount of tension. I want to say I love my in-laws and there was no way to know when they were invited that our personal shit would be hitting the fan. In fact I had to sign off on the invitation. My sister-in-law even offered to leave early. That would not have been the right thing to do since it was a good time to get away from the stress of their mother's illness (in the words of Carl Spackler, "We have that going for us...which is nice." That is something that I don't blog about because it is primarily Joan's family.

Second, I do NOT point the blame at Joan for our deteriorating relationship and I don't think she would do the same toward me. There are too many factors that have contributed to our situation that it would be impossible to narrow things down to one or even several issues. On the contrary I admire my wife for what she has done to support our family. Ignore for the moment the stresses she faces at home. Her job is related to banking. Even though her employer is stable and even doing fairly well in this economy there is a hiring freeze in place. Joan is primarily a manager with about 3 members short of a full team. Walking through the door at 9 PM at night is not uncommon. Our hope is that the folks she reports to have taken notice and her efforts will pay off in the long run.

Finally, we will always put the needs of our children first in making any long-term decisions about our family. Whether it is bankruptcy or taking some time away from each other, Jessie and Ben are our primary concern. Some people may disagree with how we handle our marriage but they are the reason we still are together. We may have problems with each other but we also have respect for each other as well.

Again thanks for the kindness many folks have shared here and on Facebook or Twitter. I've been painting quite a bit the past two days which helps distract me from the problems at hand. Ironically, as much as I'd love to express the darkness before me, the canvases still end up covered in color and joy. Weird.

8 comments:

flutter said...

because your heart is full of color and joy.

Shea's Mom said...

Hang in there, baby.

Gretchen said...

Sounding better. XOXO

Love ya...

Hapi said...

hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

File said...
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sheepincognito said...

Hi Bennie,

Hope your week is off to a better start - hang in there, keep walking, and don't give up (if not for yourselves, hang in there for your kids - they don't care if you have money, but they care very much if you have each other...).
I've been thinking and praying about you - you aren't forgotten!

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Kyla said...

Thinking of you guys.