Thursday, November 13, 2008

You Women Underestimate Our Pain

That's right. I have a "man cold" and I'm suffering more than a not-so-completely-run-over-snake surrounded by turkey vultures. My head weighs 40 pounds more than it did when I went to bed. A fry cook at Waffle House could fix an omelet on my forehead using the tissue I just tossed away for grease. I'm trying to figure out what Joan used to beat the hell out of me with last night while I watched Pink Floyd during my NyQuil-induced hallucination. Geez, I haven't felt this achy and sore since that stupid 10k I (tried) to run a few years back. And where's my soup, dammit?!!!

Given my foul mood and the forthcoming "wimpy" comments I will ask you to leave the thermometer right where it is so I can continue calling Joan every ten minutes to whine about my worsening condition. If you have a miracle remedy please leave it in the comment section after you make fun of me - the wackier the better. And wash your hands after you leave.

In the odd chance that certain death doesn't take me I'll be back tomorrow. So instead of sitting around in the sick side of the waiting room please go visit a dear friend of ours. In all seriousness she's had a brutal couple of weeks. If you are a newer reader Lisa was Ben's primary nurse until last winter and you will see her face plastered all over our Flicker account since she's one of Ben's favorite paint buddies.

And of course please do some shopping today in lieu of reading my incredible witticisms (hint: scroll down a little further).


Nurse Betty L. Boop said...

Bennie, I love you!!!! And Ben, Joan, and Jessie too! Thanks for the link, the hugs, the thoughts, and prayers you've sent my way through the past 3 1/2 years (((HUG))) I hope you feel better soon!

P.S. Where is that thermometer? Are you getting the most accurate temp?

P.P.S. I'm NOT telling what Joan women have to stick together *evil laugh smilie here*

Ben and Bennie said...

I keep ringing this stupid bell and nothing is happening. It must be broken.

Anonymous said...

Have Joan go to the Lemongrass Thai restaurant (downtown) and pick you up a Panang Curry (side order of spring rolls and hot sauce) made as hot as possible. Have loads of water on standby. This has worked for me on many occasions. I hope you feel better.

I love reading your blog. Ben looks great and I am so proud of his progress. You and your family continue to inspire me!

freebird said...

Call Hunan K and order a quart of their Hot and Sour soup. They will have it ready in ten minute. Then while eating the soup listen to some TESLA real loud. That will fix you right up.

Dr. freebird

Ben and Bennie said...

I swear I'm gonna bitch slap Freebird next time I see him. Snoop Doggy style. ;)

Chanda (aka Bea) said...

Oh, poor poor thing. I do hope you feel better soon, even if it is "just" a man-cold. Kidding, really - colds of any gender suck out loud.

B over at Tapdancer swears by Ginger Root Tea.. and while I despise the stuff, I have to say it is a miracle cure.

You peel and slice up a big hunk of raw ginger, throw it in a pot of water and bring to a boil. Steep/simmer until it smells a lot like pledge. Ladle into your favorite mug with a little oj for sweetening. Inhale fumes as you sip. Oh.. and drink as much of the pot as you can over the course of several hours. YOu will feel better.

Good luck!