Recommended:
South Bound Mary

I'm thinking that whenever I'm in town on the weekends (which is rare) that I'll use my Sunday morning post to introduce some culinary delight that the Wahs occasionally enjoy. I'll have to admit that I enjoy this little recipe whenever I'm at an art show with The Bomb Squad, so named because we tend to get "bombed" when we're all together. This group includes quite a few of those artists listed over to your left under that heading titled The Guild.

Generally speaking Christy Buchanan (soon to be famous via Southern Living) serves as bar tender. Christy is old school and would never lower herself to purchase all of her ingredients pre-mixed. And I wouldn't be surprised if she shows up with a blender at the Banner Elk show next month to show off her Margarita-making skills. But that's another story that seems to be a bit foggy at the moment.

South Bound Mary is the bloodiest Mary south of the Mason-Dixon line. It's a combination of Savannah-influenced presentation with a Texas-sized kick to the esophagus. If the Gates of Hell open up somewhere near Columbia, SC like most of us from South Carolina believe this is the drink you'll want to be sipping on while you're there to keep old Lucifer at a distance.

Here are the ingredients:

• Burnett's Lime-flavored Vodka - yeah, I know there are other fancier names out there but we're not sipping on Grey Goose straight up. We are about to mutilate Russia's equivalent to iced tea into something that could make a fine bug repellent.
• Finest Call Loaded Bloody Mary Mix - I used to be a Zing-Zang guy myself but I still had to add some of the stuff that Finest Call includes and they got it all. Real tomato juice (with the seeds), Jalapeño peppers, onion, garlic, horseradish, cracked black pepper, and lemon juice. I've been tempted to marinate some ground beef in this stuff, bake it, and name it Meat Loaf to Kill Your Ma-In-Law With.
• Tabasco Smoked Chipotle Pepper Sauce - as Jed Clampett used to say on The Beverley Hillbillies (one of the finest dramas to ever appear on television I might add), "EWE-EEEE-DOGGIES!" For chicken wing aficionados this is your ticket, right here. I peppered me some burgers last night and had to break out the Preparation H this morning.
• Worchestershire Sauce - and you thought we Southerners couldn't spell "wooster sheer sauce" (sauce is pronounced with two syllables).
• Pickled Okra
• Large Green Olives (optional)
• Small Dill Pickles (optional)
• Mild Banana Peppers (sliced) - you can choose hot; it's your digestive system so you can do anything to it that you want.

Preparation: it depends on how drunk you want to get but my suggestion is to use about two jiggers of vodka (equal to two shots of Jägermeister) for every 12 ounces of mix although I usually don't mix like this. I go by what it looks like as in, "this looks like it's gonna be a pretty shitty day so let's add more vodka" or, "I'll keep the vodka in the car and if it looks like your parents are gettin' on our nerves we'll add more."

Add a dash of "wooster-sheer-sauce-a" and a couple of dashes of Tabasco. Don't dash too much of the latter unless you want your family to move out for a week or so. Throw in the sliced banana peppers and shake. Don't stir it because it'll end up looking like a redneck parfait. If'n your spouse has some respectable chest ensembles then get him or her to do it for some added entertainment.

Now some folks like olives or celery as a garnish. We suggest use use the celery with the aforementioned chicken wings. You're gonna need it. I like the little dill pickles and olives just in case I need a weapon after Joan makes fun of my chest ensembles after shaking the mix. The pickled okra is not optional if you want a true Southern experience. This would be like not eating the worm at the bottom of a bottle of Mescal. Put your okra (pronounced "okree"), olives, and whatnot on a toothpick and shove it down into the mix. After your first drink bite the okra in half and return it to you glass before you refill it. Finish off the okra after it has soaked some more. Ewe-eee-doggies!

Now if you'll excuse me I'm headed out by the pool to enjoy my South Bound Mary while I read my new book, Weird Carolinas. This coming week you can look forward to a book report, a magazine review, and more cute pics of Ben. Hopefully next Sunday you can copy my recipe for my Dirty Old Man Martini...

Later on in the afternoon addendum: Please go visit Looky, Daddy today. He has something very funny and outstandingly (is that a word?) clever to share. It made my day!