100 Things about Bennie

1. I’m happily married.
2. My wife and me went to church together while teenagers.
3. We went on one date together back in The Day and it sucked.
4. I was too wild and she was a prude.
5. This is marriage number two for both of us.
6. Both of our first spouses cheated on us.
7. We have two kids.
8. One kid is a beautiful redheaded daughter whose boyfriends will probably meet untimely deaths.
9. The other kid is my best friend.
10. He has a rare genetic disorder.
11. Although he’s difficult to understand, all of us have heard him say, “I love you.”
12. I am a full-time artist.
13. I mostly create acrylic paintings.
14. I wish I had chosen this career 20 years ago.
15. I am also a musician.
16. My dream was to be a famous rock star like Steven Tyler of Aerosmith.
17. I came somewhat close.
18. For two years in the 80s I was the lead singer of Jackyl.
19. My hair resembled Jon Bon Jovi’s at the time.
20. No, I will not show you pictures.
21. Yes, I do have them.
22. I’m a Christian.
23. Despite all we’ve been through as a family I still pray often.
24. My Dad died way too young.
25. He had an embolism
26. Although we live far apart I’m very close to my brothers.
27. There are two of them and I’m the oldest.
28. My Mom now has seven grandkids and we just found out another is on the way.
29. Only two are boys.
30. My Mom thinks this is extremely funny.
31. I like my wife’s family for the most part.
32. Her Dad pisses me off occasionally but he can’t hear so I can talk about him behind his back (or actually right in front of his face) just like his children.
33. I’ve lived all of my life in Greenville, South Carolina.
34. I even went to college here (Furman University, 1986).
35. I’m a fan of NFL’s Minnesota Vikings because they wear purple just like the Furman Paladins.
36. My wife lived in Minneapolis for a couple of years with her first husband and became a Vikings fan too.
37. I’m scared of heights.
38. I’m claustrophobic.
39. Therefore I hate flying.
40. So does my wife.
41. We drive everywhere.
42. I love fishing.
43. I’m allergic to shrimp.
44. I didn’t find out until I had a reaction at the age of 35.
45. I can eat all kinds of shellfish other than shrimp.
46. I can’t eat salmon or bass.
47. That sucks because I love both.
48. I love to grill things.
49. I love fires.
50. Even if I’m camping by myself I will build a campfire.
51. I still think my wife is one of the prettiest women I’ve ever met or seen.
52. I didn’t need to say that because she never reads this blog.
53. I’m probably going to make her read it anyway.
54. My wife and me used to be neat freaks.
55. That was until we had a special needs child.
56. Now our house is a wreck.
57. We don’t care unless folks other than Ben’s caregivers are coming over.
58. We have a pool.
59. It sucks having a pool because it takes a lot of work and money to keep it crystal clear.
60. I’d love having a pool if someone else could take care of it.
61. We have cat.
62. She thinks she’s the mother of our children.
63. Her name is Layla.
64. We saw Eric Clapton here in Greenville two years ago.
65. He performed Layla.
66. Another woman hit on my wife that night.
67. The horniest of my dreams was not fulfilled.
68. We have a mutt dog named Balloo.
69. He is almost all white and only resembles that Jungle Book character because he looks like a small bear.
70. Our cat is a lesbian because she worships the keyboard my wife types upon.
71. I’m addicted to crossword puzzles.
72. And Scrabble.
73. I love to cook.
74. I don’t mind cleaning the kitchen after I cook.
75. Otherwise I hate to clean the kitchen.
76. And bathrooms.
77. And doing laundry.
78. I’m now a stay-at-home dad whose primary responsibilities are all the above.
79. I love children and being around them.
80. Particularly the kids in Ben’s class.
81. And Jessie’s friends.
82. My wife says I snore.
83. I believe her since my mom and grandmother could sound like inland foghorns.
84. I’ve painted murals for both my kids.
85. Jessie still loves hers and wants to keep it.
86. Me and Ben exchanged rooms a couple of years ago.
87. I now have “The Field of Dreams” in my office and Ben has a poster of Kevin Costner.
88. Before Ben came along my Mom was my best friend.
89. I’m sure you conjure thoughts of “Mama’s Boy” but it would be far from the truth.
90. If you had my Mom for your mother you’d also think she was the coolest Mom on the planet.
91. My wife now thinks that my Mom is her best friend and the coolest Mom on the planet.
92. That sucks sometimes.
93. Because I think my Mom likes my wife better.
94. My wife and I both hate Dave Matthews music.
95. People think I know about computers because I have a blog.
96. I think that is hilarious.
97. My wife set up and maintains my art website because I’m that technology challenged.
98. I’ve been arrested twice.
99. I have a big mouth.
100. My favorite food is anything Italian.