The Crying Game
or The Lion King Part 3
Wanna know what the title refers to? Our annual "Christmas Tree Erection." You, dear reader, might think that terminology is funny. Let me be perfectly clear about this: there is nothng whatsoever funny about the name of this annual Waddell event. It is so titled to remind me of a Ghost of Christmas Past. The year that our tree was the only erection during the month of December.
Jessie was just toddling at the time which both spouses now admit was a minor contributing factor. Another contributing factor was opening our first bottle of Beaujolais Nouveau. We'll say that this was a medium factor. I'd say the main reason for The Great Holiday Eruption (not to be confused with erection) was thinking we could start decorating the tree at about 8:00 in the evening and be finished with it by bedtime...on a weeknight.
The details are still just a bit blurry to me. I think it's one of those painful memories that one tends to block out when the trauma is just too great. You know the kind of stuff I'm talking about here. Like the time I said "I do"... for the second time. Or the time I said "yes, officer, I did call you a (bleep)." Or that time I thought I heard the doctor say "It's a girl!" Or last year's prostate exam. We're talking some serious pain here!
Basically this is pretty much all the conversation I can recall now, which did in fact happen after the third trip to the drug store for lights.
BenWah: "THESE BLEEPING LIGHTS DON'T WORK EITHER!!!!"
Note: I didn't actually say "bleeping" it actually began with...oh never mind.
JessieWah: "DaDa turn red likey Elmo. I go play wit mo lights unda twee."
Pre-Fluid Guru Too: "Honey, let's just do this tomorrow. You're pissing me off. I don't like you cursing like that in front of Jessie."
BW: "Well god-bleep she's gonna learn it sometime! Hand me that bleeping set of lights and see if those mother-bleepers work!"
Jessie: "Da Da say Mother Fa...."
PFGT (quickly interrupting): "Daddy said Mufasa!"
Jessie: "Da Da play Lion King?"
BW: "MUFASA, MUFASA, MUFASA YOU BLEEPING RAFIKI SHIITE EATING BLEEP TIMON STINKING PUMBAA SUCKING ZAZU SNIFFING XXXXXXX-MAS TREE!"
Note: I didn't actually use any of The Lion King characters. I actually said...nevermind.
PFGT (stomping out of the room toting Jessie under her arm): "Good Mufasa night you Shenzi-eating Banzai! I'll never put up that Zazu X-mas tree with you ever Rafiki again!
Jessie: "Ma Ma Da Da play Lion King for twee?"
I guess that was the year we put the X back in X-mas. And so tonight I will sit by myself upstairs painting or blogging while the rest of the family enjoys the Christmas Tree Erection.
Rafiki-A!
or The Lion King Part 3
Wanna know what the title refers to? Our annual "Christmas Tree Erection." You, dear reader, might think that terminology is funny. Let me be perfectly clear about this: there is nothng whatsoever funny about the name of this annual Waddell event. It is so titled to remind me of a Ghost of Christmas Past. The year that our tree was the only erection during the month of December.
Jessie was just toddling at the time which both spouses now admit was a minor contributing factor. Another contributing factor was opening our first bottle of Beaujolais Nouveau. We'll say that this was a medium factor. I'd say the main reason for The Great Holiday Eruption (not to be confused with erection) was thinking we could start decorating the tree at about 8:00 in the evening and be finished with it by bedtime...on a weeknight.
The details are still just a bit blurry to me. I think it's one of those painful memories that one tends to block out when the trauma is just too great. You know the kind of stuff I'm talking about here. Like the time I said "I do"... for the second time. Or the time I said "yes, officer, I did call you a (bleep)." Or that time I thought I heard the doctor say "It's a girl!" Or last year's prostate exam. We're talking some serious pain here!
Basically this is pretty much all the conversation I can recall now, which did in fact happen after the third trip to the drug store for lights.
BenWah: "THESE BLEEPING LIGHTS DON'T WORK EITHER!!!!"
Note: I didn't actually say "bleeping" it actually began with...oh never mind.
JessieWah: "DaDa turn red likey Elmo. I go play wit mo lights unda twee."
Pre-Fluid Guru Too: "Honey, let's just do this tomorrow. You're pissing me off. I don't like you cursing like that in front of Jessie."
BW: "Well god-bleep she's gonna learn it sometime! Hand me that bleeping set of lights and see if those mother-bleepers work!"
Jessie: "Da Da say Mother Fa...."
PFGT (quickly interrupting): "Daddy said Mufasa!"
Jessie: "Da Da play Lion King?"
BW: "MUFASA, MUFASA, MUFASA YOU BLEEPING RAFIKI SHIITE EATING BLEEP TIMON STINKING PUMBAA SUCKING ZAZU SNIFFING XXXXXXX-MAS TREE!"
Note: I didn't actually use any of The Lion King characters. I actually said...nevermind.
PFGT (stomping out of the room toting Jessie under her arm): "Good Mufasa night you Shenzi-eating Banzai! I'll never put up that Zazu X-mas tree with you ever Rafiki again!
Jessie: "Ma Ma Da Da play Lion King for twee?"
I guess that was the year we put the X back in X-mas. And so tonight I will sit by myself upstairs painting or blogging while the rest of the family enjoys the Christmas Tree Erection.
Rafiki-A!
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