This measure of time that encompasses roughly one fifth of my life is now juxtaposed with the way I am encouraged to live the remainder of my days - one at a time. Three thousand six hundred forty eight versus today...or yesterday...or tomorrow. For some reason it seems quite odd and so very foreign to me to think, plan, and prepare in such a way. Daily. Hourly. Minute to minute.
Yet when I look at my life as a snapshot of this moment rather than the feature film version that I am used to it is very difficult to be unhappy. After shaking the Polaroid I take a close look. I see two healthy children who are happy. I see a mother and wife with a good job, a steady source of income, who is beloved by her family. I see a home that needs some repairs but still keeps its family warm and safe from the elements. The faces in the photograph indicate laughter, fun, security, love, and happiness. And then there is a father and husband who has recently made a huge life-changing decision. He looks at peace - hopeful even - expecting good things to come. In this picture I see what is actually there and not what should be there.
Perhaps this new way of dealing with life will be good for me. Maybe it will even help me deal with the ebb and flow of time in a healthier way than I have ever approached it. After all, there is no other path to achieve sobriety.