Six Weird, Strange, Odd and Unknown "Things" About Me.


Thanks for the tag, Jeni. I think you're determined to hear about the year I wore Spandex in the mid-80s. Not just yet, my dear. But here are some juicy little tidbits for your entertainment until that time I get plastered enough to reveal my life as a pretend-to-be rock star.


1. I sleep with a fan on next to the bed. I’m certain this habit started after we moved Ben to his current bedroom downstairs. For the first couple of years of his life we had a concentrator and compressor running 24 hours a day. In fact we had two sets of these. The other set was kept downstairs for Ben’s daytime activities. When those machines were moved I couldn’t stand the complete silence. I needed white noise!

2. I have a penchant for things like Vienna sausages, smoked oysters and pickled okra. Yes, this grosses my wife out. It’s inherited. My dad would often gobble down a whole can of pickled herring in mustard sauce as an evening snack. My mom leans toward a more femininely scrumptious snack like pickled eggs and deviled ham. And for lunch on camping trips I’m so proud of my daughter Jessie grabbing that can of Vienna’s best mix of meat that Scots savor in a dish of haggis. It brings back memories of summertime lunches of sausages on Saltines, The Meal of Redneck Nobility.

3. I’m allergic to shrimp. And horse hair. And cat hair. And dust mites. And pollen. And hay. And this. And that. And going. And going. I’m like the damn Eveready Bunny of Sinuses. Most of the stuff is treatable through antihistamines and the magic of Benadryl. I ate shrimp all my life only to have a pretty good reaction at the age of 35. Since that allergy usually means an aversion to other shellfish I went to an allergist to check it out. After the battery of tests I was handed this sheet that told me what I needed to avoid. Not one other shellfish was mentioned. BUT making the “cut it out or you might die” list was these favorites: bass, tuna, salmon, catfish & crappie. No more salmon patties. No more tune salad. No more wrestling with the channel cats in the middle of the night down in the Bayou swamps with my brothers.

4. I hate clowns. They’re just freaking weird. They gave me bad dreams when I was a kid. If I wanted see a bunch of freaks wearing too much make-up with big fat honking noses sporting shoes that obviously hide feet the size of Yeti’s I’d just attend my wife’s family reunion.

5. I talk in my sleep. Okay, that’s like saying President Bush tells an occasional harmless fib. I swear in my sleep. I’ve used words and phrases that made the rest of my family blush the next morning and they slept through the whole thing. Last Thursday morning it was snowing. If you recall the kids are out of school for the day. Joan heads to work since the conditions improved late morning. I put Ben on the couch to watch cartoons with his sister and then retreat for another hour of sleep. The phone awakens me. It’s Joan.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
“(snicker) Um, Jessie just called me and she’s afraid of coming upstairs (more snickering)>”
“Why”
“Because you said. ‘%^*(^%$^you (^&^$(_**)^(^&%%)*&(_)*&*)mother&(&*%*%(.’”
“Oops.”

6. Ben attracts black snakes. Yep. It’s true. Since this blog is a daddy/son blog we thought it fair to add something about him in this Meme. This one’s a doozy and I was highly encouraged by the women-folk of the family to include it. The trouble is that it’s a pretty lengthy tale so I will save this entry for tomorrow.

In the mean time I’ll tag Vance, Casey, and Kyla so they can get busy on their own collection of “stuff” hidden in the closet.