Sunday, December 10, 2006

The Struggle

What do we do? There are families once considered middle class that do not know how we're going to make ends meet this month while trying to provide our children a Christmas they deserve.

Is anyone really listening out there? All I'm seeing on Blog Explosion right now are incredibly rhetorical blogs that young kids of rich folks put together to express their angst of not getting that which they so richly deserve.

Deserve versus earn. What an interesting yen yang kind of challenge. Who deserves their lot in life? Who has earned it? I'm honestly empty in the making-sense-of-life tank. Does anyone have anything new we can explore?

We're hurting. Sorry to express our pity-party but we just can't help it sometimes. I guess that wall has grown pretty high these days. Here's some stuff to digest.

  • We have not been invited to a Christmas party in I don't know how long. Why?
  • Ben has never been invited to a birthday party by any friend or relative.
  • There are several once-considered-friends we've not heard from or hear from very rarely since Ben was born.
  • I'm so frustrated with my attempt to continue as an artist when I see some of the crap that gets sold by artist sellers "on a daily basis."
  • I'm exhausted. Joan is exhausted. Our love-life is zilch. We have had exactly one date-night in 7 years. One. And we're still married...barely. Anyone new wanna step up to the plate? I'm kind of fed up with the whole thing myself.
Sorry to unload but the holidays pretty much suck around here. It has always been funny how people ask "is there anything I can do?" and yet the time comes and they're full of shit. That goes for family as well. We have cousins galore around here in one particular case but does sis-in-law step up to the plate to help out a tired marriage? Nope.

Welcome to the Dark Side.

7 comments:

Jeni said...

I was going to vent myself, but I'm too tired/ Tis the season, right?

Ben and Bennie said...

You, young lady, do not deserve to have that holiday spirit crap ripped from under your feet. You've got a beautiful love child to help you find Christmas Past, Present, and Future. I wnat you to find it.

Jess said...

This is one time that I can say and really mean it, I know how you feel. It's hard, and seems so unfair at times. We are surrounded by my family, and receive very little help. We should live closer together, then we could swap kids, but as sweet as yours look, you might have trouble getting them back lol. I think having exceptional kids like we do, makes us see things differently. I personally couldn't care less about getting a gift this year, I'd prefer time alone. It's something that is needed for me to survive. I understand the stress that this puts on your marriage, I live it everyday. As hard as it is to do, you have to keep your chin up. Your entire family needs you. I've spent a lot of time reading here and looking through your archives(I promise I'm not stalking yall), but I can relate to so many things you've written. Never give up, never give in. Just vent to us and we'll listen and vent with you. Or cry with you. I do believe your blog is the only one that's ever made me cry! Please don't tell B'Diva that... She'll laugh at me. Yall are in my thoughts, and I wish you the best.

Anonymous said...

I have been having a tough time this holiday season too, but you have helped me put things in perspective. My issues center around another source of angst--money. I wish you the courage to reconnect in your maariage and the hope that all things are possible.

The Curmudgeon said...

And it's worse at Christmas... because you're told you're supposed to be happy and you feel worse because you're stressed.

You have to vent somewhere.

Ben and Bennie said...

Unfortunately much of our angst involves money problems as well. I can't find a job that allows us to maintain the level of care Ben needs (meaning odd hours, nights, etc.). That leaves selling of artwork which has been very sporadic. Bah humbug.

Cynthia Bostwick said...

I wish I lived closer. Ben and I would come be with the red head and Ben, and you could go out. I'd even give you our Big Boy gift certificate.

Keep your hearts up. Many love you. Humans are full of failure, and often they run when they see pain. Don't give up.